The way that we respond to children’s curiosity about others effects the way that they see people around them. According to Derman-Sparks and Edwards (2012) we need to talk to children about what they see; however, I like others have told a child that we do not say things like that. Several years ago when my eldest daughter, Cassie, was three years old we were in Walmart shopping when Cassie saw a lady that had many scars on her face. I do not remember the exact details this took place 18 years ago. Cassie made a comment about the lady and her scars and I remember that I immediately hushed her and told her we do not talk about others.
The message that I communicated to Cassie and the lady if she heard or saw me was the lack of value that I gave the lady. The truth is that I did not know what to say to her about the lady’s scars. I could have talked about the differences that we all have. Since I did not know this lady I did not know anything about the markings (scars) that she had. So I could have talked to my daughter about things that happen that might give us scars or sometimes we are born with different skin variations and coloring. Hushing my daughter only got her more interested in staring and wondering about the lady. According to Derman-Sparks and Edwards (2012) and Pelo (2008) we should talk about the things that our young children see and are interested in. An effective anti-bias educator would expand their critical thinking skills by asking questions (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).
References
Derman-Sparks, L. & Edwards, J. (2012). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer). (2011). EDUC 6357: Diversity, development, and learning. [Webcast]. Start seeing diversity: Physical ability and characteristics. Baltimore, MD: Author.
Pelo, A. (Ed.). (2008). Rethinking early childhood education. Milwaukee, WI: Rethinking Schools.
Luci,
ReplyDeleteI have been in your shoes before and responded the same way. Meltz (2001) made a good point: "As soon as a parent shushes him, however, there is value attached. 'To a young child, if he can't talk about the difference, there must be something bad, wrong, or scary about it', says Villegas-Reimers" (p. H4).
Meltz, B. (2001, November 22). Teachings on diversity, tolerance should start early preschoolers can learn it's ok to notice our differences: [Third Edition]. Boston Globe, H$. Retrieved from ProQuest database.
Hi Luci,Thanks again for your help today. I just read your blog and smiled because I admire children for their outspokenness. Your story reminds me about my grandson and his comments about senior citizens in a nursing home. I agree with you that our reaction is crucial in educating them to see the differences rather than hush them down. Teachable moments can arise from children’s direct questions if we stay calm and without making anyone feel humiliated (Derman-Sparks& Edwards, 2010) they can construct a positive view of human similarities and differences.
ReplyDeleteLuci,
ReplyDeleteYou did what at some point we have all done to our children. Sometimes it is not what they say but where they say it...at least that is what I remind my children. However, today I am more matter of fact when they ask questions of curiosity about others. I believe being honest is the best policy and asking questions about there curiosity often leads us both answers. great post!
Lucinda,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading you blog. I too have told my child to hush in worries of offending the person they were speaking about. I think Derman-Sparks is correct in their accounts on speaking to our children about what they are observing, but I also agree that we don't want to offend others with our words. Would you explain to Cassie right there in front of the person or would you quietly take her aside and discuss it with her? Part of me says take her aside and discuss it with her but also explain that we don't want to intrude on others. Another part of me says to quietly and politely using extreme tactful words and explain to the child right there so that the lady might hear and know that she and I aren't trying to be offensive. I am just not sure what the best approach is and maybe each situation has to be judged as it comes.
Thanks again for the Blog!