While reading the book excerpt, So Sex, So Soon I was picturing what my
eldest daughter asked me when she was just a kindergartener, or better yet what
she informed me of. Her question was “Is
this finger (holding up her middle finger) dirty?” My response was to carefully look at her
finger and I said “It doesn’t look dirty to me. However, there are people that
associate dirty thoughts when holding up that finger.” A couple of days later she comes up to me and
says “Mom, do you know what this means?” While she moves her lose fisted hand
up and down. She did inform me of what
the little boy told her it meant. This
book excerpt also reminded me of a time that my young daughter was sing along
with a song on the radio. Something like
“I want to sex you up” I do not remember if that was the title or just some
lyrics in the song. Anyway, I asked my
daughter what it meant and she told me that it only meant kissing. I told her that I only asked because she
should not sing or say things that she does not know what they mean.
The
images that society puts on young girls are really tough to follow. To be sexy and popular you have to fit a
certain image (Levin & Kilbourne, 2009).
I have never fit that image and probably never well. The fourth-grade girl that wrote that letter
on page 3 of the book excerpt could have been me. As a young child I always felt unloved and a
failure. I felt this way because I was
not thin or pretty (at least no one ever said I was pretty). The image that we are giving children about
sex and being a sexual being is hurting them (Levin & Kilbourne,
2009). It is no wonder that children cannot
figure out who they are and have relationship issues. How do we move past the images that society
has been giving for many, many years? I
still feel that my looks hinder my abilities to be loved and I am very insecure
in my relationships. Knowing this about
myself helps me to look past societies images when working with others;
however, I can only see what I think others see when looking in the mirror.
Reference
Levin,
D. & Kilbourne, J. (2009). [Introduction]. So sexy so soon: The new
sexualized childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids (pp. 1-8).
New York: Ballantine Books. Retrieved from: http://dianeelevin.com/sosexysosoon/introduction.pdf
Luci,
ReplyDeletesex is everywhere and it is down right despicible when it is expsoe to our children. I never use to have to monitor my children's television shows until my oldest who is 16 was watching American Dad and I overheard what I felt was sexually graphic messages. Needless, to say that show is banned in my house. Society thinks it is cute to imitate adult situations but, what they fail to relaize is the psychological damage it si doing when they dismiss the seriousness of the message distoring the young mind. Beleive it or not your daughter sounds about my age as your scenariso reminded me of some conversations I had with my mom about that special finger and song.
Lucinda,
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you responded to your daughter. Sex is a natural thing that children are going to be exposed to, it is how we handle it that matters. When reading the excerpt I was appalled at the examples listed int he introduction. After my husband and I talked about it though I realized that my daughter is not going to be a victim of our overly sexual society because we will do exactly what you did, answer and explain things to her.
Hello Luci, I laughed heartily after reading through your blog. It also reminded me when I first came to the U.S and was substituting in a life skills class and one of the students was upset because another student gave him the finger. I kept asking him what he meant by “he is giving me the finger?” To solve the problems I had to ask the other co teacher to intervene and when I went home I could not stop imagining the impact of cultural differences because if someone were to show me that finger the rest of the day, it does not mean anything to me. Nonetheless, I think we are all in for a ride with sexualization as a new challenge in the society. The TV, electronic media and other Medias are doing a detrimental job of exposing children to all sorts of porn and inappropriate images. The fun is when I just moved here, my last child who is now 21 years was about six years, and each time he saw someone kissing on TV, he would cover his face. It was strange to my children then and embarrassing to us as parents. When graphic sexual scenes would pop up unexpectedly, I will flip the channels immediately; but after a while my son got tired of covering his face and he could watch them without any qualms. That is what the media can do to our children; pollute their little minds and leave them thirsty for more obscene scenes if we do not do something about the insanity on the “sexy and cool” phenomenon.
ReplyDeleteHello Lucinda,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your post and I agree with you 100 percent about the impact the media has on little girls. I still struggle from time to time with body and self esteem issues, and I am in my late 20's. I struggle with those issues because I would base myself off of media's standards and what they presented to the consumers. I believe as long as we are great roll models to our students, males and females by letting them know that they do not have to conform to the media's expectations. Thanks again for sharing.
Hi Luci,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that images portrayed can have a lasting impact! I have never fit society's mold of beautiful either, and I never will! It is hard to overcome the messages that are sent. I am almost 40 and it has taken me that long to heal from some situations and remarks in my early life! Our experiences can help us though as we work with children and their families to know how these things can make a lifelong impact.
As always, I enjoyed your blog and your wisdom!
Kristi
Hi Luci,
ReplyDeleteSex is experienced everywhere. Children are going to have exposure to it. It is a shame that it is showing up as much as it is in the different shows that children watch including cartoons. As a parent I find myself monitoring the things that my children watch and even the type of music they listen to. Thanks for sharing.
Lucinda,
ReplyDeleteI agree that today's society is tough to raise children in. I have four young children and a day never goes by that I am seeing things presented on TV, Newspaper, radio, other children, etc. that is deemed "inappropriate". Keeping strong but a level head about topics you mentioned is essential in ensuring that the children feel open to discuss these topics with us but also to help redirect them onto a path that is better suited for young minds. Thanks so much for your blog.