After I took the three communication quizzes I had my husband, and one of the speech therapist, Ms. Mary, that I work closely with for several years also assess me on my communication skills. It surprised me as how close all the scores were. My husband and Ms. Mary assessed my communication anxiety in the moderate level while I assessed myself in the elevated level. My husband did make the comment that he didn’t know whether my pulse raced, or my heart beat faster. I was surprised that I hid my anxieties at all though I still need to work on it.
The scores were even closer on the verbal aggressiveness scale. Ms. Mary and I were just one point apart and I assessed in the moderate level. My husband assessed me in the lower end of the significant level. I think that I am more aggressive communicator with him because he never truly hears what I have to say. I really do try to take other people’s feelings into account when I communicate with them. My family frustrates me at times and I tend to forget to considerate their feelings when mine are being ignored.
My listening style is people-oriented. All three of us assessed me in this group. I am very empathetic and concerned about others. It impressed me that Ms. Mary and my husband saw that in me as well. I also do find that I sometimes make poor judgments because I am a very trusting person. This is something that I need to work on so that I am not overly trusting and improve my judgments.
I learned that I have a hard time perceiving things about people that are not obvious. I learned a long time ago that looks can be deceiving. However I do use my perceptions to keep my family and myself safe. If I perceived the situation or person as unsafe safe, than I would not communicate with them or engage in that situation. I might take the chance if I was with friends though. I also learned the different levels and styles of communication and none of them are bad per se though it is best to have some of them all I think. Learning about perceptions and my communication styles will benefit me in how I communicate with my family, friends, colleagues, families that I work with, and the children that I work with.
Luci,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like our results were similar and that feedback from others basically supported our perceptions of ourselves. You make a good point about recognizing the benefits of all types of communication styles. I think that realization helps us be more tolerant listeners, as well.
Luci,
ReplyDeleteMy scores on the agressive scale were high too. Like you I feel as if I have to shout or be very assertive to get others to hear what I have to say especially at my workplace. I feel alot of times at work they do not want to hear what I have to say so I have to demand my respect and feelings from them. The funny thing is my husband, mom, and best friend also stated I was just agressive no matter who the audience was in the room. Great post as always!
ReplyDeleteLuci,
I think being a mom and spouse challenges and tests are ability to communicate and to be heard. I think we all tend to just get in certain communication habits. I am so analytical with my family at times that that too gets in making me an effective communicator with them. For me it’s a work in progress. Know that I admire you! I think its hard to be a mom and a teacher, and have to communicate all day long, especially in the classroom, like you said we always are having to perceive the children's next move.
Within your blog you shared your communication vulnerabilities as well as your strengths!! Being an empathetic and people oriented is a true strength.
As always I found your blog insightful!!
Millie
Hi Luci,
ReplyDeleteI found it interesting that your husband remarked about not knowing whether your your pulse raced or heart beat faster...my husband made the same comment! It is interesting that you rated yourself higher on the communication anxiety than did your husband and co-worker. You must present yourself as confident :)
This was an interesting assignment, I agree.
I enjoyed your blog!
Kristi